You may feel a sense of deja vu reading this. Here we go again, another post where they’re looking for bears, don’t find them, go home. But no… spoiler alert, this one ends differently!

Actually, it kind of starts the same. We’d moved on to the Grand Tetons, the third of the National Parks on our trip. We’d selected a hike based on wildlife viewing opportunities. Moose apparently, around Heron Lake and Swan Lake. No moose. Not even any herons or swans. Darren had to improvise with a rendition of Swan Lake.

Heron Lake. No herons.

Swan Lake. No swans.

Swan Lake!

Bears too apparently frequent this promontory leading out from Colter Bay to Jackson Lake. It’s not like we want to run smack bang into a bear on a blind corner whilst hiking in the middle of a forest. What we were looking for was a cool bear viewing experience that safely involves not being in a vehicle. Like seeing a bear in an open clearing or down by the lake. Again, nothing doing. We did run into another hiker who said she’d seen a mother bear and two cubs. Always the case. (Sometimes I wonder if we’re really that unlucky that we always seem to meet the people who’ve just seen the bear/moose/wolf – take your pick, we’ve had all three. Or if there’s a bit of artistic license and creativity going on).

The views out onto the lake helped ease our pain.

Next up: canoeing.

Done with this wildlife watching lark, let’s just get out on the lake and enjoy it. Rather than choosing our normal watercraft of choice – a double kayak, we thought we’d mix it up a bit and go with a canoe instead. I was a bit surprised that the canoe was made out of aluminium. For some reason, I expected a canoe to be made out of wood.

Took me a while to get used to the paddling (in fact, I’m not sure I ever did get used to the paddling – Darren could attest). Once properly out on the water, we could appreciate the peace and solitude.

It’s difficult to portray how the water itself differs – and therefore how the experience of being out there/in there differs. I find it mind-blowing to come across patches of surface water that are so glassy, it looks like you’re paddling through clouds. It is surreal and quite magical.

After a hard morning’s paddling, we had to do a portage – getting out of the canoe and carrying (aka dragging) it through the shallow water and over the shale to the next inlet.

Darren taking the canoe for a walk

As the canoe was out of the water, and we were tired from our paddling and dragging, an opportune moment then to have our picnic lunch: salmon. No sooner had we sat down and opened the salmon than a black bear appeared over the other side of the lake.

Just wow! We finally had the bear experience we were yearning for. We watched entranced as the mother bear led her two cubs down to the water for a drink (maybe the hiker we saw yesterday wasn’t bullshitting after all). OMG. I can’t explain to you how cool an experience this was. We watched transfixed as the mother bear sniffed her way along the shoreline and the baby bears gamboled along, clumsily splashing in the lake.

BEAR!!!

Let’s just have a little splash…

Oh hang on a minute, I think I can smell lunch…

Wait for me…. and me…

And then the mother bear squinted over towards us and started heading for where we were. I might remind you that at this point we were out of the canoe and on the shoreline. About to tuck into only the best hot smoked wild salmon. I could sense that the mother bear was thinking the same. I wondered if we could make a run for it back to the canoe, to get to the safety of the water before the bears were in striking distance. But as the bears moved ever closer, the canoe was now smack bang between us and the bears. We didn’t fancy our chances of getting to the canoe first, so heading directly towards them at this point would probably not be the most highly recommended tactic.

We announced our presence loudly, just in case the bears thought the salmon was a free for all. Rumour has it their eyesight is even worse than mine.

“Hey Bear” we yelled. Louder and louder. “Hey Bear”. Thinking No way bear, turn right around, this is our lunch! The cubs stood up on their hind legs and looked directly at us. How can something be so adorable and yet at the same time there’s still a sense of danger. That mama bear was still leading the way, nose in the air, and heading in our direction. You should never underestimate the behavior of wild animals.

With the salmon in one hand, I readied myself and picked up a rock in the other, prepared to make even more noise by throwing it down in front of me. Darren cast me a sideways glance and raised an eyebrow. “Really?” You and a tiny rock vs a bear?

We had retreated along the shoreline, and we watched as the bears stomped past our canoe (with barely a sniff, maybe just a little gutted that the salmon was no longer there) and we breathed a sigh of relief as they headed out on their way. I guess they decided there were easier pickings out there than our lunch.

Suddenly that huge long canoe looks quite tiny

So maybe that one was just a little close for comfort. Probably best to move on and finish our picnic lunch elsewhere.

Always looking for ways to mix it up a bit, the next day we rented a bike and went for a ride through the national park.

No zoom. This one was taken from the bikes.

And well, fancy that. A young grizzly stepped right out into the road in front of us and sauntered across. Not batting an eyelid at the bikes or us. Again, such a cool experience. Maybe I’m not jinxed after all.  🙂

Bison. One of the big draws to Yellowstone. The first and oldest national park is well known for its bison herds. Most other ungulates (elk, antelope, moose) migrate out of this ice cold wilderness as the temperature dips below unreasonably cold, whereas the hardy bison have the utmost respect. With icicles hanging off their furry beards, they wage their stubborn war with the elements, using the thermal features of the park in the same way we huddle around a log fire. But for now, during our visit, they’re making the most of the cool autumn temperatures and starting to get frisky before winter sets in.

There are signs everywhere stating that bison are wild and dangerous, do not approach. But when they insist on crossing the road right in front of you, it’s kind of a good opportunity to get some photos nice and close, without getting too wild and dangerous. And they do like to hang around the roads. Which causes more than its fair share of traffic jams.

As with any animal sightings, the best bit is not ticking them off, but getting yourself ensconced in a spot where you can hang out and just watch. Rolling around having a dustbath, mock charging and initiating minor confrontations with each other, leading and following – the herd is always on the move. Even if it means crossing the river.

Ooh, now that feels better!

Heard the best grass is on the other side, follow me!

You up for a fight?

Who said that?

As for the sounds they make, believe me this is no herd of cows mooing. The bison grunt and they snort. They bellow and they roar. At times it sounds like snoring and farting but I think it’s just them doing their thing. They are anything but quiet. In fact, highly entertaining.

We’ve had more than our fair share of hiking trail closures on this trip. Trail closed due to bears. Trail closed due to roadworks closing the parking lot. Trail closed due to habitation regeneration. Trail closed due to fallen trees. I am not joking here. Yet we had found a trail that was open and recommended in the guidebook as great views of the Yellowstone Grand Canyon, and potential wildlife viewing opportunities.

The wildlife opportunities started with a flock of migrating Canadian geese, vocal yet majestic. And then there was the lone bison.

Behind you!

Although not as impressive in itself as a whole herd (which we’d previously seen from the car), it’s very different seeing animals when you’re out walking, just you and them and no car to protect you in between. Actually way better than seeing them from the car. Still, this singular bison didn’t seem too bothered, left us to our own devices, and we carried on our way.

At which point we realized that the lone bison wasn’t by himself after all. He’d just wandered off from his herd. Cue the rest of the motherf*ckers. They stood to the left of our trail but a few of them were walking slowly towards it. Carrying on along the path wasn’t an option, but we figured we could safely veer way over to the right and still continue on our way. Nope. The bison had other ideas.

They waited til we were almost level before they made their move. More targeted than a game of chess, they advanced slowly but deliberately. Once they’d blocked our intended route, they turned to face us – a proper face off. The bison vs the Hamiltons.

Bison to the left. That’s the continuation of our path curving right past them up ahead.

And… we’ll just take a walk over here…

Bully tactics!

It was about this point, we realized we didn’t really know what to do if a herd of bison charge at you… run away? Doesn’t seem too smart, you’re probably not going to outrun them. Drop to the ground and play dead? Nope, you would get trampled for sure. Climb a tree? Excellent option, although there were no trees around. Hmmm, if all else fails, retreat it is then. And so we backed off politely and left them to it.

So now we have Trail Closed due to Bison to add to our list. Undeterred, we drove to a different trailhead and still got our hike in, with cool views of the Yellowstone Grand Canyon.

With all this amazing camping, scenery and wildlife, sometimes it’s tough to know what to blog about. You could be forgiven for thinking that with our bumbling ‘caravan’ lifestyle and progression in hobbies from running to hiking to fly fishing, that we are truly middle aged. Time to reverse that thinking with our next adrenaline-packed adventure: Via Ferrata.

Italian for Iron Path, Via Ferrata started in the Dolomites (actually as pathways for the Italian army over the mountains in the First World War) and the number has grown over the last 30 years. It is now popular in many other mountain regions in Europe, primarily as a Summer tourist activity. It’s not yet big in the US however. The Via Ferrata in Teton Village near Jackson, Wyoming, was the first in the US – and is only in its second season, having opened in 2017.

I didn’t have too much in the way of expectations. In fact I really didn’t know quite what to expect at all. I’d seen a picture of a narrow suspension bridge that you had to cross, and that didn’t bother me too much. I’m not afraid of heights, just afraid of falling. So walking with something solid and reliable under my feet is fine, even with a few hundred feet drop below. I thought they would play on the irrational vertigo-induced phobia that many people have, and the Via Ferrata would consist of these narrow suspension bridges along with precarious ledges and steep drops, all while being safely clipped in.

Umm no. Well, not really. Yes there were steep drops, and indeed they do throw in a suspension bridge (more for the photo ops I think) – but what it’s really about is climbing. Climbing up a rock face at the top of a mountain.

A climber I am not. Luckily, this is very much assisted climbing, for those of us who struggle with contemplating the likes of a sheer bare rock face. So it’s not just you vs the mountain, they throw in some iron steps set securely into the rock, and steel cable strung along the route to clip carabiners into. So even that I could cope with. But no. They also throw in random bits in between where there are no iron steps and you have to negotiate the rock face, looking for crevices – basically anywhere suitable to plant a foot or grip with a hand, to give you leverage to climb up to the next out of reach iron rung.

Luckily, we’d opted for the private tour option – just me, Darren and our guide. I brought up the rear – but it was never made to feel like it was a race (kinda happy about that, I would have earned a wooden spoon). I ritually followed our guide’s advice of never having less than 3 points of contact on the rock (out of two hands and two feet). In fact, I frequently went above and beyond in having way more than that, using elbows, knees and bum for contact with the rock. Most ungainly I’m sure, but it worked. Put it this way – I made it through in one piece. I’d even go as far as to say that I enjoyed it.

Via Ferrata : I came. I saw. I conquered.

Would I do it again? Well, rumour has it they’ve just opened a Via Ferrata in Mammoth, so maybe, just maybe, I will.

Kind of feel I earned that beer!

And…. RELAX!!!

Darren suggested breaking up the journey from Glacier NP to Missoula, a college town in Montana, by staying at a mountain bike retreat. Located just outside Whitefish Montana, it serves as a bike rental shop, bike playground and campsite in one. I was bribed with “a bike ride to a brewery, and a camping spot to boot”. OK, I’ve done brewery bike rides before, how hard can it be.

It was actually a cool place to camp – individual spacious camp spots, complete with a bike rack. The finer details were bike-themed, re-using old bike parts in some ingenious way – a bike fork for a campfire poking stick, wheels for camping pitch numbers, pedals for toilet roll holders.

While we were preparing for our bike ride, some deer dropped by to keep us company. Meanwhile, a frenzied woodpecker was head-butting a nearby tree.

I liked the bike I was given. Nice big 29” tyres and even though it wasn’t full suspension, it felt nice and bouncy.

We started with the ‘fun’ on-property trails, which Darren said would be good practice for the ride to the brewery. This turned out to be a set of looped single track trails with banked curves, hazardous drops, and bridges made from single planks of wood. Essentially an obstacle course of steep bits and narrow bits. So of course that didn’t go so well. Darren tried to teach me some basics, but soon got frustrated with my lack of talent and ambition. Better to just bite the bullet and get on with the proper ride.

Having survived and subsequently recovered as I’m writing this, even I would admit it was kinda fun. But my god it was hard. It was all single track which is enough to freak you out by itself. I’m pretty sure I set a new max heart rate on the uphill sections, I could hear the blood pumping in my head with the combination of adrenaline, altitude and general unfit-ness. As for the downhill sections, well – I thought I was going to die. My lungs got to take a bit of a breather but not my heart, that was in my mouth. As for my arms, they took the brunt of it, gripping on to the handlebars as if my life depended on it (which it did).

By the time we got to Bonsai Brewing Project in downtown Whitefish, I was so in need of that beer. I think maybe tomorrow, I’ll do a hike instead!

St Mary campground in east Glacier NP was our home for 3 nights. With a name like Glacier, you expect the weather to be chilly, and it didn’t disappoint. Down to around freezing overnight. I shivered as we walked past a huddled figure sat shivering outside her tent, hunkered down in fleeces and a woolly hat, writing her journal. That could so be me! I officially declare my tent camping days over (at least cold weather tent camping). I wonder if the Basecamp is the single most best thing we’ve ever bought!

Darren braving the elements in a pre-sunrise walk

Nearby St Mary Lake made for a pleasant early morning stroll before we hit the serious hiking. An ideal wildlife spotting location you might think, not another soul around to scare off the animals and we were there at dawn, supposedly the most opportune time. At the very least, a nice morning wake up call, the scenery a prelude of what was still to come.

Nothing doing wildlife-wise but we resolved to go back at the other most opportune time… dusk. Near the lake, we’d spotted a swampy patch of shallow water, lily pads floating idly – totally looked like ideal moose territory. Pretty sure if I was a moose, I’d go there for an evening mooch around.

We were armed with only the most appropriate beer for the mission: Moose Drool, a tasty brown ale, courtesy of Blue Sky brewing. We crept up quietly, sneakily, not wanting to scare the moose away. And we were rewarded with… Ducks. And silence. And no moose. Seems it’s more of a duck hangout than a moose caboose.

Consoling ourselves that it was at least a cool, peaceful spot to enjoy a beer, we heard voices. People. Just a family with a young daughter returning to the car park. And then the kid began to sing. Bob Marley. At the top of her voice and without a care in the world. “Don’t Worry. ‘Bout a Thing. Cos Every Little Thing. Is Gonna Be Alright. (Be Alright).” Moose or no moose, I think she had it right.

Glacier National Park is known for a couple of things – 1. glaciers and 2. wildlife. As is the case globally, the glaciers are dwindling, but a shadow of their former selves. The wildlife however, is thriving. Grizzly bears (oh yes!), black bears (which if you didn’t know can be black, brown or blonde), moose, elk, mountain goats, wolverines (who knew), even wolves. Cool, let’s get out there and look for some bears!

We had done some research in advance, and our hike of choice was to Iceberg Lake in the Many Glacier area of the park. A good chance of seeing bears and icebergs in a lake seemed to tick both boxes. And then we found it was closed. What? Closed? Why? Because of bear activity. What? But we’ve come to see bears! Yes, as if to add insult to injury, the trail was not only closed, it was closed because of bears.

We were pointed in the direction of an alternative walk – the Swiftcurrent Valley, where there was supposedly a good chance of seeing wildlife. Unfortunately, so was everyone else so it wasn’t the quietest of hikes. Still, the scenery was impressive, especially around Bullhead Lake.

We kept our eyes peeled for bears but nada, nothing, zilch. Of course, they’re all playing around on the Iceberg Lake trail! Other hikers jingle jangled as they walked with their bear bells tinkling, sounding like a herd of reindeer. Yet others walked with cans of bear spray in their hands, ready to attack at any moment (or more likely spray themselves in the face). They needn’t have worried – any trail I’m walking on is virtually guaranteed to have no bears.

Back in the car park, there was a bit of a kerfuffle as a small crowd gathered around a spotting scope. We went to see what all the fuss was about – and high up on the mountainside (mere specks, but moving specks and visible through binoculars or the scope) was a grizzly mother and her two cubs. Lesson learned – if you want to spot bears, your best chance is in the car park.

Brown speck on the left is mama Grizzly. Blonde speck on the right is one of the cubs.