After three hectic weeks living the Selina digital nomad life in Bogota, Medellin and Cartegena, it was time to pause the bean counting, down tools, and power off the laptops.  It’s like that Friday feeling, only better – because we knew when Monday came around, we’d still have a week’s holiday left.  Big smiles all around.

First up was Tayrona National Park, a tropical paradise with Caribbean beaches and lush rainforest.  We were staying at Finca Barlovento, an upscale lodge style retreat where the River Pledras meets the sea.  A perfect oasis to spend Christmas.  

We embraced Christmas Day sunrise with an early romantic stroll on the beach.  We chilled out in the afternoon with cocktails by the pool.  And my Christmas treat was the most awesome full body massage in an open cabana, surrounded by nature.  The squawking and screeching of the resident parrots only added to the ambience.  In fact it reminded me of the time in Zimbabwe when I had a massage in similar circumstances, a rare pampering treat while traveling.  Half naked and half asleep at the end of the massage, that time I was rudely awakened by a mischievous playful lion cub wanting in on the action.

Back in the day
Back in the present – sunrise on Christmas Day
Guess we’ll save the swimming for another day
Breakfast with a view
It’s easy to miss the parrot for the hummingbird
The great-tailed Grackles that hung out around the restaurant were even more vocal than the parrots
Sundowners on the balcony
As dusk turned to evening, the swimming pool and surrounding rainforest were illuminated. (The all-essential bug spray to hand on the table).

It was so relaxing to wind down and escape completely, feeling a long long way from the hectic hurried normality of the day to day.  Despite the remote isolation of the place, I was very pleased to find they had wifi.  We got to speak to most of the rellies to say hi and Merry Christmas.  And of course, no Christmas is complete without Love Actually, downloaded to the iPad and watched in bed with a baileys.

But not until we’d checked out the tiki bar
Don’t mind if I Mai Tai

Next up was Minca, a tiny off-the-beaten-path mountain village.  

Minca is gradually becoming more on-the-beaten-path for hip backpackers and those in the know, which I guess includes us.  Darren had booked us into a rather unusual Airbnb – a tree house.  Or more accurately, a tree tower.  And I have to say he rather excelled himself.  It was quite the structure – crafted from bamboo, it resembled a tall mushroom (think very large very tall mushroom) with a flamboyant leaf-shaped roof.

Selva Minca, our home for two nights

From the ground-level open bathroom (with running hot water), a narrow winding staircase took us up to the next level, minimally yet tastefully decked out.  Above that, the king sized bed was draped with a mossie net like a grand four-poster, and a French press was on standby for morning coffee. The jungle views were expansive and impressive, whether we enjoyed them seated on the high top bar stools, relaxing horizontally in the hammock, or splashing around in the open shower.

There was a river nearby for soaking in.  While Darren immersed himself in the experience and the water, I enjoyed a little paddle, for the cool relief it gave to my swollen bite-infested ankles. We also used a local guide to accompany us on a hike to some of Minca’s hidden waterfalls.

Insta vs Reality lol

Leaving Minca behind, we had a l-o-n-g journey ahead of us to get to Bucaramanga.  Three reasons to go to Bucaramanga – one, because Diego, Darren’s Columbian colleague lived there; two – there’s not really anywhere else remotely suitable for tourists to stay overnight between Minca and Bogota; and three – because it’s just such a cool name!

The hire car we picked up in Cartagena hadn’t been put to the test much as yet.  Not by us anyway – I have to say it’s the most beat up, dented, dinted, scraped, scratched and bashed up excuse for a hire car I’ve ever seen.  I guess they didn’t bother fixing anything ‘cosmetic’.

We were reliably informed by Waze that our 330 mile journey would take us at least 11 hours.  True story.  Think narrow busy roads where you take your life in your hands every step of the way.  There is no concept of a bypass so every town and every village involved endless speed bumps, hawkers stepping into the road selling all sorts of random stuff, and mopeds whizzing by any which way.  Then came the mountain roads – very scenic but steep and windy with trucks crawling at snail’s pace, cars overtaking on blind corners, and cruel potholes poised to take you out ninja-style.

Somehow, 12 hours later, we made it in one piece (well, we were both in one piece – the car was almost in one piece, something did fall off after one of those pothole assassinations).  A few deep breaths and beers with Diego were needed for normality to be restored.  

Also in Bucaramanga, a tamarind margarita at a Mexican bar, El Patron
Darren feeling unusually adventurous tried a ‘Gomichela’. This turned out to be a michelada with Corona, tangy Chamoy sauce, Worcestershire sauce, lemon juice, a tamarind chilli rim, and gummies (or ’gomitas’). He has forever regretted this drink choice.
Looking at this picture even now turns my stomach. The rainbow gummies (sour fizzy sweets) fizzed and bubbled in the drink like a witch’s brew, turning slimy and sticky in the already sour liquid that resembled anything but beer. No thanks.

The last stop on our Columbia holiday was Barichara, one of the prettiest villages in the country.  Think colonial architecture with sandstone churches, whitewashed houses with red tile roofs and brightly painted doors, and narrow cobbled streets.  It reminded me very much of a Spanish village.

Those narrow cobbled streets posed their own particular challenge as we tried to navigate to the Trip Monkey hostel we were staying at.  Google Maps was no use, it just wasn’t working.  Waze was missing at least half the streets.  And Apple Maps made up its own imaginary streets.  Between them all, we ended up at a dead end along what we’d thought was a one way street.  A brief yelling match and a 7 point turn was all it took to resolve 🙂 

Pizza and pasta with a view into the drying room where the home made pasta lay in wait to be plunged in hot water for the next lucky diners
A handy way to get around
This tiny patio was all but deserted just 5 minutes prior.  We’d ensconced ourselves there for a quiet drink away from the busy bar, only to be inundated with a dozen others with the same idea.
Feeling Christmassy in the evening
A lovely meal at La Puerta Secret Kitchen. An enchanted garden setting and such a well kept secret, we were the only ones there.

The initial intention was for Darren to do some mountain biking but the worlds didn’t align and he was stuck with me and a hike through the beautiful surrounding countryside.  We had stunning mountain views the whole way, interrupted only by the local ‘wildlife’ – a herd of cows, excited to be getting their lunch (those funny cows with humps on their backs), and some goats on leashes, out and about for their daily walk.

We arrived into the neighboring village of Guane with low expectations, which it massively exceeded.  It was another delightfully pretty whitewashed village, with the most laid back understated mirador bar. Give me a beer with a view and some sun and you have one very happy chick.

And there you have it… our Christmas in Columbia was brought to a close in the paradise of Guane. All that was left was a New Years Eve meal (and an early night) at the Marriott in Bogota before our early morning flight home. As we presented our American passports (for the first time flying into the US as American citizens), we were greeted with a smile and a ”Welcome Home!” 🙂